Discovery
by Granger-gurl-rox
Summary: Back at Privet Driver Harry finds he has Hermione's diaries. On reading them he finds out more about his best friend then he ever thought, so much so that he realises that she is always by his side...HHr [complete]
1. Prologue: The Beginning Of The End

Heythis is just going to bea small ficlet only about 3 or 4 chapters long.

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately i own nothing.

**Summery:** Back at Privet Driver Harry finds he has Hermione's diaries. On reading them he finds out more about his best friend then he ever thought, so much so that he realises that she is always by his side...H/Hr

Will not be all diary entries!

Here is just a small prolouge...

**Discovery**

**Prologue: The Beginning Of The End**

* * *

"… _But it would put me in a bit of a compromising position Hermione", he had said, "you understand right?" He had asked. Not, I'm really sorry Hermione and I really appreciate the offer or I would have loved to go with you but I'm going with someone else. Not that that would have made it hurt any less. Not even I'll save you a dance but the harshest thing he had said, the thing that really hurt was what he had said next… "I'm glad your the only other girl that's properly asked me because you're the easiest one to say no to, less aggro and everything, because you're my best friend." Then he had said that phrase again. "You understand right?" I barely registered the pain that shot through my heart that time. Didn't he realise how much courage it took to even ask him? A girl to ask a boy? I'm full of tradition you know that but I couldn't be bothered to wait around forever and so I made the first move. The beginning of the end of him ever noticing me shall I say?_

_I want to scream at him, what does she have that I don't? Is she prettier, funnier, what is it? Why has he never noticed me? I want to yell at him for never recognising me at his side. Through everything we've been through. I mean are all boys clueless, tactless and hurtful or is it just Harry? I've given up on him now. _

_I just wish I actually could get over him._

_I've got to get ready for this stupid ball now I'm going with Cole Smith he's a year older than me in Ravenclaw but he's nice enough hopefully I'll still enjoy the evening._

_Hermione_

_X_


	2. The Forbidden Fruit

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately i own nothing.

**Summery:** Back at Privet Driver Harry finds he has Hermione's diaries. On reading them he finds out more about his best friend then he ever thought, so much so that he realises that she is always by his side...H/Hr

**Discovery**

**The Forbidden Fruit**

* * *

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have read Hermione's diaries but when Harry had found her wooden chest at the bottom of his trunk when he unpacked at Private Drive that summer he thought he had been given the opportunity of a life time. 

For Hermione's 16th birthday Harry and Ron had clubbed together to buy the chest for her. She had seen it in Scrivensafts and fallen in love with it immediately alsoit had the Hogwarts emblem emblazoned on the top and a small mirror on the inside of the lid. The box was split up into seven separate compartments in which Hermione put her diary for each year at Hogwarts.

How did it get there was the first thing Harry thought when he first saw it sitting in the base of his trunk. That was one mystery he couldn't fathom out. All he and Ron had ever known about what Hermione had put in the chest was her diaries and since then the boys had been naturally curious as to what Hermione wrote in them.

As soon as possible though the chest was whisked up the girls' staircase and they had deemed it unreachable and forgotten about it but now Harry held the forbidden fruit, so to speak, in his hands and he couldn't wait to tell Ron. Of course he had to have a little peak. What could Hermione write that Harry didn't know about? He'd been with her through all their adventures and he was the one that knew her the best. Sure girls wrote about who they fancied and period dates and stuff…_yuck bad thoughts!_ Harry cringed…_did not want to think about that!_ Anyway Hermione didn't fancy anyone so what could she possible write about that she wouldn't allow the boys to see?

On further investigation of the content within, Harry found he couldn't tell Ron about his find not when he had found exactly what Hermione had written about…

He knew he shouldn't be reading the entries but it was addictive he couldn't stop. They were like a really good book he couldn't put down. He was finally allowed to see or read in this case what went on in Hermione's mind and found out more than he could ever imagine about his best female friend…

Several entries sticking out in his mind:

_1st September 1998_

_Today I started Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Apparently it's the best school there is and so I am extremely honoured to be here and to be a witch for that matter. _

_On the train ride down I met several new people. There was a boy named Neville Longbottom and I helped find his toad Trevor. Then I met two more boys called Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter. Yes the very same Harry Potter I've read about over the summer. I guess he's just as scared and nervous as I am about starting tomorrow not knowing anything about the wizarding world and growing up in our world. There were three nasty boys but I didn't catch their names and I don't think I want to really. _

_I tried to read as mush as possible so I won't be behind but I'm not sure it will be enough. I'm going to check out some books tomorrow from the amazing library they have here._

_I'm kind of scared about tomorrow and not knowing anyone. I hope I make some friendsas I've seen quite a few girls here who I could make friends with. _

_I'm just afraid though what if I can't do it, the magic? What if I don't know anything and they make me leave? I'm in such a magical place I don't want to go._

_I'm going to bed now; classes start tomorrow,_

Hermione

X

Harry gave a small grin at the young Hermione. She'd always been so confident Harry had never thought for a minute that she was scared and had the same fears he had about starting school in a completely different world.

_31st October 1998_

_Things with Harry and Ron have reached their peak today. I give in I'm not going to bother them anymore or even help them. _

_We had left the Charms lesson today and I over heard Ron saying how annoying I was and that I had no friends. _

_I know I have no friends and I just ignore it but to have it throw in my face like that really hurt and Harry just laughed and agreed with him!_

_I want to go home, I hate it here and I'm absolutely miserable!_

_Everyone is going to be coming back from lessons now before an amazing Halloween feast I suspect but I don't feel very hungry and I'm not going to go down there and eat if they're there! Lavender and Parvati will be here in a minute and I don't want them to see me like this, like they'd care anyway. I'll just go and hide in the toilets until dinners over and everyone's returned so I wont be bothered. Like anyone would miss me._

_Bye_

_X_

"I'm so sorry," Harry whispered.

He recalled all to clearly what happened that day and a fresh wave of guilt washed over him that he had buried years ago. All she'd ever done for him so far was to try and keep him out of trouble and all he did was throw it back in her face. She had been miserable ever since starting school and Harry and Ron had just made it worse...

Their joining in friendship had obviously made Hermione happier. He was sure he owed Hermione so much with all that she'd done for him over the years, homework, Quidditch and saving his life. If it wasn't for half the things Hermione had done Harry would be dead he was sure of it.

_1999_

_Malfoy called me a Moodblood today. I didn't know what it meant at first until Ron and Hagrid explained it to me. I feel that there is an invisible barrier barring me from a world I've grown to love just because of my bloodline. It's like there is some sort of divide between the boys and myself but Ron tried to curse Malfoy with his broken wand but unfortunately the spell backfired and he ended up cursing himself to burp up slugs…

* * *

_

_I'm worried about Harry. Everyone thinks he's the Heir of Slytherin. I think that's ridicules…

* * *

_

_Another person was petrified today Justin Finch Fletchley and Nick the Gryffindor house ghost. I'm really scared, as it's just the muggleborns being attacked. I darent say anything to Harry or Ron though. It's just something I don't feel I can share with them...

* * *

_

_2000_

… … …_Harry just sits there and either agrees with Ron or stays out of the argument. He's never stuck up for me in our arguments before I mean I know Ron is his best friend but it would be nice for him to just once stick up for me. He's never thanked me for anything before either. Everything I've done to help him and I don't get those two words of appreciation a little thank you would suffice every now and again. I just feel so worthless, like no one would even notice if Sirius Black attacked me until there was no one to answer questions in class…

* * *

_

_It's Christmas Day today and I've just had a huge row with the boys. I think Harry's broomstick that he got for Christmas is from Sirius Black jinxed perhaps to some how hurt him and I told McGonagall and now the guys hate me because it's going to be stripped down something or other. I was only looking out for his safety but NO anything 'Hermione' does is always to hurt him or deprive him of something never in his best interests! It doesn't help with Ron fuelling his fire...

* * *

__I've just got back from the library. Malfoy was there and he must have noticed the 'Trio's Split' as he put it. He said some really hurtful things to me and I couldn't just brush them off as usual because I didn't have Ron and Harry with me. What was the worst, was what Malfoy said was true, it is MY fault they're not talking to me, it is MY fault they hate me. I've been really depressed these past few weeks. I'm working ALL the time just to get my work done and barely sleeping properly. I don't think I can manage the time turner any more…

* * *

__Harry got his broomstick back today and came over to talk to me for the first time in ages! Then an argument happened all over again because Ron thinks Scabbers is dead. There was blood on his sheets and there were some of Crookshanks' hairs but they could have been there since Christmas time…couldn't they? And of course Harry sided with Ron- again!

* * *

__Harry came over and talked to me today he had the nerve to ask if I had even gone to his Quidditch match, like I'd miss anything he did however angry I was. I don't know that if he still hates me or not but Ron does he made that quiet clear! I've been helping Hagrid with his case for Buckbeak's trial and we're progressing steadily…

* * *

__I made up with Ron and Harry today! It's been almost two months since we've been on friendly terms and I feel so happy! I can't believe how I managed without them. I missed them so much, more than I'd ever tell them though…

* * *

_

Harry really wanted to talk to Hermione. Explain how sorry he was for taking her for granted to tell her thank you over and over again and ask for forgiveness for how he'd treated her for the past few years. It dawned on Harry how important she was to him how integral she was to 'The Trio' she was the brains behind everything with Harry getting all the credit. She was appreciated although he never told her. He had the urge to get in touch with her right now and thank her and make sure she still didn't feel like that.

He finished her third diary and placed it back in the chest before laying back down on his bed staring at the ceiling. He had to do something, anything, a big over blow gesture to express his gratitude.

Just thinking about Hermione and her feelings pulled at his heartstrings and he felt guilty. He had overwhelming urge to hold her, comfort her, she wasn't as strong as she made out to be and more than ever he wanted to return back to Hogwarts and see her, even if he was taken to Grimmuld Place he hoped she would be there.

Harry made a mental to thank Hermione everytime she did something for him from now on.

2001

_I've fallen for Harry. There I've written it I can't take it back. It's scary and amazing at the same time I mean he's my best friend and he's suffered so much but I'm afraid I've fallen so hard I can't get back up again especially if he knocks me back. I can't describe the feelings that erupt in me each time I see him or when I hug him…_

Harry froze… _me? …Me? She's fallen for me? Hermione loves me?_ Unconsciously he smiled which steadily turned into a grin, a grin that lit up his whole face. _But what do I feel for her?_ Harry spent the next hour and a half contemplating his feelings for his bookworm friend before coming to a decision he had realised long ago it was simple: 15 letters, 5 words, one heart swelling meaning..._I'm in love with her._

He recognised it now; the fuzzy feeling he always got when she hugged him. The tingling sensation he felt when she had kissed him on the cheek 3 years ago and the suffocating realisation in the Department of Mysteries when she was struck down he was unable to move drowning in terror. _What if I had lost her_ was a continuous phrase that plagued his mind for the whole year after. How he _was_ jealous of Cole Smith last year without realising it, he remembered glaring at him occasionally and stiffened considerably when he and Hermione had come over to talk to him. How he always protected her first before himself, from the centaurs and Grawp in the forest to trying to keep Hermione from coming with him to London, telling her to stay behind to wait for the Thestrels with the others.

Harry couldn't believe it, he had been in love with her too but never realised it. With this new comprehension Harry was even more wishing to go back to school and see her again and a week later his wish was answered.

Several Order members came to collect him, scaring the living daylights out of the Dursley's especially Dudley. He seemed to be suffering from some sort of complex to Magic folk. Well after his disastrous encounter with Hagrid and The Weasley twins who could blame him.

* * *

_"After everything that happened at the end of last year, the media attention and Umbridge prowling round the school after Harry I just need to be there for him. It's getting him down I can tell and he's not sleeping properly. I need somehow to tell him I'll always be here."_

* * *

He had entered his room hot and sweaty from the vicious Quidditch match he had just been in with the Weasley boys (bar Percy) and there she was...sat on his bed reading a huge tome. In total shock at her sudden arrival he stood speechless taking in every aspect of her. How her tongue peaked out through her luscious lips while she was concentrating, and how that mouth, that tongue seemed so delectable. Feeling his presence she glanced up and broke into a huge grin.

"Harry," she squealed and jumped of his bed and flung her arms around him holding him tightly, "I've missed you so much... how have you been?"

"I've been fine. Even better now that your here," he grinned relishing in the feeling of Hermione in his arms, "what about you?"

"I've had a great holiday thanks... oh before I forget, I've already asked Ron but he didn't know, do you remember me leaving my Scrivenshfts chest on the train? Because I can't find it."

Harry immediately panicked and stiffened but, still in his arms, Hermione didn't seem to notice.

"No I don't think so why?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter," she grinned up at him, "I think you better go and get a shower Mr Potter because, no offence, but you stink... And eurgh you're all sweaty let me go."

Harry grinned evilly and pulled her closer, "you know I find that insulting Granger, you saying that I smell?"

"Well you do, now let me go... Ew Harry give over," Hermione exclaimed struggling against Harry's iron grip.

Harry chuckled causing Hermione to freeze in his arms and gaze up at him.

"What?" he asked confused.

"N-nothing, Harry I've got to go, I'll talk to you later ok," and with that she managed to slip form Harry's grasp.

Harry watched her go confused. _What was all that about?

* * *

_

Ron had left them about an hour ago with the twins but Harry had continued to work steadily on with his holiday homework while Hermione read. Finally she stood up, "I'm pretty tired you don't mind if I go up do you? All you need to do is write down that Evaluation on the end of the changes I made for you ok?"

Harry nodded and watched her gather her belongings.

"Well wait up I'll come with you, I'll finish this tomorrow."

"But Harry we're going to school tomorrow, you won't have time. You see this is what you get for leaving it till the last minute," she sighed in exasperation.

Harry just chuckled and gathered his own things while she waited for him patiently.

"Thank you... by the way."

Hermione froze, "what did you say?" She whispered.

Harry grinned slightly and took a step towards her.

"I said thank you… as in thank you for helping me with my essay tonight the night before school when I guess you probably had some more important things to be doing… why?"

Harry noticed her eyes flash with gratitude he'd never seen before and a small smile grace her lips.

"No reason."

They ascended up the three flights to their bedrooms in silence until Hermione bid Harry goodnight at her bedroom door.

"'Night Harry."

"'Night 'Mione."

She graced him once again with a small smile he'd grown to love without realising it, before she entered her room. A smile that lit up her whole face and one he hated to see her without, it looked like something was missing if it wasn't there which made his heart beat wildly. He recognised it as the smile she reserved for him, just for him, and it made him giddy with excitement. Harry waited several seconds before entering the room he was sharing with Ron.

As soon as he entered hepulled out a piece of parchment from the desk in the room and waited. Predictable Hermione's neat scripture graced the page. It was the first time he'd used this and was so glad it worked…

_You won't believe what just happened because I can hardly believe it myself! OK you know I'm making a big deal out of it never mind._

There was a pause and Harry thought she wouldn't continue and was about to put the parchment away until…

_Ok I will have to make a note of this so I have written evidence. I was helping Harry with his potions essay downstairs and he thanked me when we were finished. It was really…sweet of him oh gosh those stupid feelings are returning. Ever since I first saw him after the holidays they came back! When we were in his room together when I first got here they came back so unexpectedly... I thought they'd gone! It was easy burying them because I wouldn't be seeing him for almost two months but…well…I don't know what to feel._

_Well I'm going to bed now we're going back to Hogwarts tomorrow._

_Bye_

_X_

Half an hour later Harry was still staring at the words on the page when suddenly he heard the doorknob turning and he hastily stuffed the parchment in the draw on the desk.

Ron entered.

It wasn't long after that both boys got into bed and fell asleep, Harry dreaming of a certain brown haired girl.

* * *

"Morning boys," Called a voice vaguely familiar before Harry felt a giant pounce on his bed. 

"Grrr" he groaned, "'Mione!"

Hermione giggled and leapt from the bed and Harry heard another muffled groan, "Wake up Ronnikins School starts today," She sang.

"Bugger off 'Mione." Growled Ron making Hermione giggle even harder.

Harry still with his eyes closed heard the unmistakable sound of a yelp and a thud. He rolled over to see Hermione on the floor and Ron was now the one chuckling to himself.

"Serves you right," was all Ron said before collapsing on his bed closing his eyes. Hermione glared up at his sleeping form indignantly.

"Idiot," she grumbled.

Harry leaned over and offered Hermione his hand, which she accepted and pulled her up, onto his bed.

"You know Ron's grumpy in a morning," laughed Harry, "you set out to hurt yourself with that one," he smiled.

She grinned back and shrugged, "I guess."

Harry consciously noticed he still had hold of Hermione's hand and howitfit perfectlyin his.

"I mean I should know by now after seven years...gosh I can't believe it's been that long, can you? When you were a scrawny little first year."

Harry shook his head and flashed her a smile, "so much has happened since then."

Hermione noticed Harry's eyes cloud over darkly, "hey", she whispered touching his shoulder to snap his attention away from the thoughts she knew he was forming. She knew Harry better than he knew himself.

He glanced at her a dark mist swirling in his eyes of pain and sorrow. She found herself marvelling at how at just 17 Harry looked so grown up, so mature, more so, than he should be, his eyes were like windows to his experiences. Having a deranged murderer after him for most of his life and living a maltreated existence at the hands of his relatives caused Harry to act much older than he really was and it hurt Hermione to know that. She felt his pain and sorrows but also his joys and triumphs. Sirius' death hit him hard as he was the only father figure that he had including one of his links back to his parents. She knew he was living in constant fear of her or Ron being taken by Voldemort or any other person close to him just for that fact... that they were close to him. She'd noticed the pattern of Voldemort using those close to Harry to try and destroy him. But Hermione wasn't going to let that happen, she would be with him till the end, she would suffer anything just so that this holocaust could be over and he could live the life he should lead.

She leaned over and gave him a brief hug but she felt him cling to her in desperation.

"Everything's going to be fine," she whispered in his ear, "I won't leave you."

Harry just nodded. She didn't know about the prophecy "kill or be killed". Harry had carried it around with him for a year. He didn't want to frighten her and the love he felt for his friends in two very different ways was what was going to kill Voldemort. He was going to kill him so that they didn't have to live in fear. If this is the design, his fate, the reason he was born, to kill a power hungry fiend and possibly die in the process, that's what he would do especially for her, the girl in his arms.

She drew back, Harry notice a rush of cold air sweep over him at the loss of contact from Hermione's body, "well my mission was to wake you two up and now I've accomplished that I'm going to get ready, see you later."

She stood up from the bed, Harry's hand stillclasped in hers andgave it a gentle squeeze before slowly withdrawing it as she walked from his bed out of the room.

* * *

"Harry can I borrow a quill you haven't packed yet?" Harry looked up from his bed where he was finishing some last minute packing to see Hermione standing in the doorway.

"Sure there's one in that draw." He replied before returning to what he was doing.

"Thanks, this one?"

"Yeah"

"It's just I've packed all mine and my trunk is downstairs I thought what are the odds you haven't packed yours yet?" she smiled.

Harry glanced up and shook his head at her comment, "am I really that predictable?" he asked.

Hermione giggled and started rummaging round the draw.

A long silence made Harry glance up again to see Hermione staring at something in the draw and realisation dawned on which draw she was looking in and Harry felt as thought a bucket of cold water had just been thrown over him.

"Wait!"

But it was too late… "Harry? What's this?" She asked pulling out the piece of parchment he used the coping charm on from Hermione's diary.


	3. My Everything

"_I love him. Cho doesn't. I've been with him through everything; ok so I'm not with him right at the end but close enough! I guess I can see why he likes her, it's obvious, she's really pretty, loves Quidditch like he does and she's popular. I bet they'd have loads to talk about. But if they went out I don't think it'd last...Even though, he'd never look at me I'm just his friend someone there to help him when he needs it. But that doesn't matter I'm just glad that I get to be friends with him ... _

_... She doesn't know what he's been through! From saving the Philosopher's Stone to Sirius and the tournament she just sees him as some sort of trophy she can parade around with, a link to Cedric, I'm the only one that sees him for who he really is... Just Harry... My Harry..."

* * *

_

The colour visibly drained from Hermione's face.

"Hermione it's not what it looks like," Harry managed to choke out noticing flashes of panic in her eyes.

"How long?" Whispered Hermione.

"How long what?"

"How long have you been SPYING ON ME!" She screamed at him crushing the helpless parchment in her clenched fist like the wind flattening a lone wheat crop.

"H-Hermione," he stammered, "I didn't mean-"

"YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO WHAT? INVADE MY PRIVACY! FIND MY INNER MOST THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS? YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO GET CAUGHT? I BET YOU AND RON HAVE BEEN HAVING A GREAT LAGH AT MY EXPENSE. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOI- "Hermione ceased ranting her tirade abruptly and gasped "you… have to have the original item to cast a charm like that…" Time stood still as realisation dawned in Hermione's eyes the hurt rolling in in dark stormy clouds... "Where are they?" She whispered.

Harry didn't need to aggravate Hermione by playing dumb to her question and glanced at his trunk.

She covered the ground quickly and threw open the lid rummaging frantically inside for her beloved chest. She pulled it out seconds later holding it close to her chest protectively tracing the emblem lovingly with her fingers.

"You know I thought I left it at Hogwarts…I asked you, I asked you if you'd seen it but you denied that you had."

"Hermione I don't know how it got there you have to believe me."

" I HAVE to believe you do I? Really? See you at school Harry," she said before exiting the room and slamming the door behind her.

Frustrated Harry collapsed onto his bed, head in hands gripping his hair in defeat.

Hermione didn't speak or even make eye contact with Harry all the way through the journey to King's Cross and she was the first to go through the barrier and disappear from sight. After the meeting with head boy and girl Hermione had taken the total opposite direction from him while patrolling the carriages.

_Head Girl,_ Harry, who was Head Boy, mused he knew she was the obvious candidate but he couldn't help allowing a small smile to form on his face, the day he remembered Hermione finding out the good news...

_Harry heard a scream from upstairs and glanced at Ron in terror. That was Hermione. Both boys darted from the kitchen table racing upstairs, Harry taking the steps two at a time. Please no, not Hermione, please tell me she's safe he repeated in his head, willing himself to believe it. Harry had not turned into Hermione's room before a small body flung herself at him almost winding him. Clinging to him momentarily before pulling back and smiling at him her eyes shining captivating him. Ron barrelled into the back of Harry as he had stopped when Hermione hugged him. _

"_What the bloody hell is going on in here Hermione?" He demanded, "me and Harry were having kittens downstairs at the sound of your scream, would you like to kindly explain what's going on?"_

_Harry released a breath he'd been holding without realising, calming himself. Of course Voldemort couldn't get into Grimmuld Place Dumbledore was the secret keeper, everything was fine. _

"_I got it, I got it, I got it!" exclaimed Hermione bouncing around the room in sheer exhilaration._

"_What you waffling on about Hermione," grumbled Ron. Annoyed at having sprinted up three floors for no emergency reason._

"_I made Head Girl Ron!" She commented proudly thrusting her badge upon him. _

_Ron merely rolled his eyes muttering something suspiciously like " another Percy wannabe" but Hermione simply giggled at Ron that made him more annoyed and leave the room._

"_So much for a congratulation eh?" She asked a bright smile gracing her face. "Did any of you two happen to be Head Boy?" She asked, "because if it's Malfoy I swear I'll-" _

_Harry cut in before she could finish her sentence, "yeah... I did actually." _

_Hermione's eyes widened in excitement, "really? Oh Harry that's brilliant," and once again she flung her arms round Harry her head resting on his shoulder. _

_This time Harry wrapped his arms around her in response. Relishing in the feeling of her in his arms" you deserve it you know," she whispered pulling him from his thoughts._

"_Do I?" He asked reflexively. _

_From a childhood of resentment and ignorance the praise that came his way always felt unnatural and undeserved, he still wasn't used to it. "Is that why you haven't told anybody?" She asked raising a concerned face to meet his own gaze. "Do you think you don't deserve it?" _

_Harry shrugged, "I didn't want to make a fuss I guess."_

_Hermione gave him a sad smile before repeating an action she had only done once before and she kissed him on the cheek, "just think of this... Potter and Granger, we'll be an unstoppable duo right?" She joked before releasing him flushing slightly and dragging him downstairs to tell the others..._

Unconsciously Harry reached up to the spot on his cheek Hermione had kissed him on only weeks ago.

But now she didn't even glance at him as she passed keeping her eyes firmly on the carriages in front and it hurt him terribly...

* * *

"_I feel horrible, I don't know what to do as until now I've never lost anyone close to me. I know he'll need to talk about it, if not it'll eat him up inside and I know Harry, he'll keep it bottled up till it tears him apart. Sirius was the closest person he's ever had to a father and he is his one of his last links to his parents. I'm going to try and get him to open up tonight. But if he doesn't I'll just keep waiting until he is. One thing about Harry is that he's stubborn so you can't push him to do anything he doesn't want to, like me really. I agreed to go to London with him to watch over him, protect him but I failed I wasn't there to help him, Ron or any of the others... He needs me, but he doesn't know it yet not necessarily for love but just to be there...and in future I will try hard to be."

* * *

_

Harry held back the grief as he remembered that Hermione was the only person he ever talked to about how he was feeling about Sirius's death...

_"Harry?" _

_Harry glanced up knowing who would be stood in front of him, he knew as soon as she had stepped in the room. He could always tell when it was her he didn't know how he did, just that he did._

"_I don't want your pity Hermione, I don't want to you to tell me how sorry you are like everyone else has done, I'm fine. There you can feel better about yourself now you've seen me... I want to be alone," He replied bitterly._

"_Harry I haven't come to pity you, I've come to listen."_

"_Well I've got nothing to say."_

"_Harry you need to talk about it."_

"_No I don't I'm fine I'm handling it my own way."_

"_You call this handling it?" Hermione gestured to himself, "not eating? Not sleeping? Not living? You're just a shell at the minute Harry."_

_Harry stayed silent. He just wanted her to leave him so he could wallow in his own destructive self-pity and guilt._

"_You need someone to listen to you Harry, you need someone to confide your fears and pain in Harry and I'm here. If I could take all your pain away Harry I would, instantly. Seen as I can't, share it with me instead... You'll feel better."_

_Harry stayed silent so she kneeled down in front of him gently placing one finger under his chin to lift it up and make her gaze meet his. His eyes were dull; there was no other word for them. She'd always loved his eyes but these weren't the eyes she knew and fell in love with._

"_It hurts doesn't it? Right here?" She placed her other hand over his heart. "You don't want to face reality because then you'll know it's real that he's really gone, that Sirius is dead."_

_Harry choked holding back a sob but his eyes betrayed him shining with tears. She dared utter the words everyone had not, she had dared utter those words to Harry who had for so long been trying to deny their true meaning. Those three words that Harry didn't want to hear. Sirius is dead._

"_You feel numb, hurt and... responsible?" Harry looking away from her fascinated with the wardrobe at the other end of the room trying desperately to block out her words. "Listen to me, Sirius's death should not be on your conscience. It was Belletrix LeStrange's fault she hit him with the curse. He did what, as your guardian, he had agreed to do. Protect you. He wanted to protect you, you were, are, his godson and he loved you like a son. He would have wanted nothing more than to make sure you're safe as would a lot of people." Harry looked back at her noticing emotion swimming on the surface of her eyes he didn't recognise. She reached up from his chin to his scar and softly traced it with her finger._

"_One day everything will be ok, in the meantime you can always come to me Harry, if you want to talk or just sit with some company, come and find me and I'll come... ...I'll leave you alone now." She made to get up from her kneeling position but Harry stopped her placing a hand on her arm._

"_It hurts so much," he whispered, " and what's worse is, I killed him... I did," and with that he slid from the bed to his knees in front of Hermione so they were eye level. "And I almost lost you... And I put everyone else in unnecessary danger b-because I d-didn't listen to y-you." Several tears slipped from his eyes tracing a steady path down Harry's face. "I can't handle all this, I don't know how."_

"_No one does Harry, each deal with death in their own way."_

_Harry didn't correct her. He didn't want to reveal the prophecy to her. He placed her hand back on his heart, " and it's tight in here, whenever I think about him. You know he gave me a two-way mirror?" Harry laughed bitterly, "I never used it to talk to him, I forgot about it. If I hadn't been so stupid I could have used that; he'd have answered then... unlike now. When I call for him it just stays black. You know you can describe your feelings' using a colour well that's how I feel now black just another word for nothing isn't it. I just want him to come back Hermione." With that Hermione placed a finger on his lips stopping him from talking and let him cry. He collapsed into her embrace, Hermione holding tightly onto him._

_She didn't know how long he cried for, she couldn't remember how long she held him but it was all night. His tears soaking her top, Harry clinging to her in need of comfort, comfort for Sirius's death, comfort for the lack of which he received while growing up. She ran her hand through his hair and whispered soothing words into his ear._

_Finally Harry pulled away and glanced over Hermione's face brushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. "Go to bed Harry get some sleep."_

"_I can't sleep," he muttered._

"_Tonight you will," she reassured._

_Without undressing Harry collapsed onto his bed and closed his eyes. Hermione sat down next to him and gently stroked his face clearing it of his offending tears. After a while Harry's steady breathing told her he had drifted off and ever so quietly she slipped her shoes off and laid down on the bed next to him one arm covering him protectively. He hadn't dared ask her to stay with him but she knew he wanted to her to. Closing her own eyes she tightened her arm around his body surprised to feel two strong arms pull her closer to him wrapping them around her smaller frame. She glanced up to see his emerald eyes expressing an immense gratitude. She merely gave him a small reassuring smile before she closed her eyes and they both fell into a peaceful slumber._

They had been their closest they had ever been those next few months, physically, emotionally and mentally. Hermione stayed with him through everything, looking back now he realised he would not have coped, not in a million years. He would have fallen deeper and deeper into depression. That's why he couldn't lose her now over some petty argument...ok so it wasn't so petty but he couldn't live without his Hermione.

And there she was again passing him without looking in his direction. Harry leaned casually against the compartment door and she brushed past him her arm catching his chest. The brief amount of warmth emitted from her sent tingles through his body.

Watching her walk down the corridor further and further away just out of grasp stabbed at his heart. All those things she'd done for him, all those months she helped him through after Sirius's death. She always went that extra mile for him. She was loyal, brave, intelligent and ... beautiful.

His heart hammered in his chest.

He was indeed in love with her and a smile slid onto his face. It felt wonderful. He wanted her back; no he _needed_ her back. He needed her forever.

"Hermione."

Hermione turned around instinctively at the sound of someone calling her name until she realised whom it was and carried on with her patrol.

"Hermione please don't walk away from me, Hermione come bac-"

She stopped.

"What do you want Harry?"

"You told me if I ever needed you you'd be here. I need to talk to you," Hermione made no motion to move but merely faced Harry expressionless wearing a mask of indifference.

"I'm sorry I know I shouldn't have done what I did erm...i really am sorry I-

"If this is your idea of an apology it sucks," she stated bluntly making Harry wince at her words.

"I-I-know I'm," he started afresh, "look I know I'm not very good with expressing myself just give me a chance, please."

"This is your chance and you're wasting your time, come back when you actually know what you want to say. When you'll have written it down, memorised it and then you'll come and find me and recite it to me. You'll probably get me to check it before hand just to make sure it's perfect."

She turned once again.

Suddenly Harry had an idea, it would work, it had to work, "wait!" She didn't turn back but stayed still, "you've been my best friend for 6 years and over the holidays I did something really stupid I know that but I want to do anything I can to make everything better between us...i need to tell you something. Over the holidays there was something I realised about myself and the relationship i have ... well with you. There was something I've been overlooking all these years. That before my eyes you has transformed into this amazing, pretty girl who I could never live without. I couldn't stand it if you hated me."

Hermione gasped and slowly turned to face Harry and her heart rate sped into overtime, "what?" She whispered.

Taking this as a good sign he slowly began to walk towards her, "I want to apologise. I'm sorry, I am _so_ sorry, what I did was stupid and juvenile and you don't know how miserable I'm feeling at this minute because you hate me. Hermione I-"

Without realising it he had reached Hermione and was gazing deeply into her eyes. His mind drew a blank at what he was going to say as he lost himself in her dark swirls.

Hermione could understand him better than he could himself and she caved. His attempt at apologising worked. Making this easier for the both of them she gave him a small smile and let herself be enveloped in his embrace. His heart jumped slightly at the contact but nevertheless he wrapped his arms around her squeezing her gently.

"I lied," he whispered.

"What?"

"Hermione I don't think you're pretty, I think you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever... I _need_ to be with you." he pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, " and I wouldn't cry if you left... I'd die." Hermione gasped in surprise at his admission and felt several tears slip down her face. He brushed them away gently one at a time. "You're my everything Hermione, you're mine forever I'm never letting you go," Hermione smiled and leaned into Harry's chest her hands resting on his firm muscles, "I love you." All traces of apprehension vanished from her eyes.

Harry grinned at the girl in his arms and captured her lips with his. It was a soft, slow and tender kiss but still pouring himself into it. Hermione wound her arms around Harry's neck while he slipped his hand into her hair pushing her head closer to him as possible.

Pulling back after what seemed like an eternity he traced her face with his fingers memorising every detail. Hermione closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, "I love you too."

A red headed best friend smirked at the scene he was witnessing, sometimes, he mused to himself all you need is a good book to give yourself some idea about the girl you love. Grinning at the couple the image of a certain wooden chest flashed into his mind and of course a willing house elf that worshipped the-boy-who-lived.

THE END

I stole the lastpiece Harry said form an email i recieved from a friend.

Well that's the end, just a little ficlet that i thought of

hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading!

Granger-gurl-rox


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